Sometimes life can be tricky. Oh hell, what am I saying? Life is always tricky.
One day, I'm sitting at the top of the world. I had everything I had ever wanted. There was a future I believed in. The next day, things began spiraling out of control. Within just a few days, I went from being at the top of Everest to a hole in Death Valley. But that hole had some benefits. I learned a lot of things in that hole about myself and about other people. A support system that I believed in turned their backs on me and started throwing rocks. Another group spat on me, like I had chosen to fall in this hole that I couldn't get out of yet. One sat off to the side, unsure of how to help. My honest friends tried to help in a more positive way. Eventually, things turned around and, with some help, I was able to climb my way out of that hole.
Things were going smoothly for a time. I wasn't on Everest nor did I really want to be again, but life was getting better. Then life gave me a new hand and try as I might, there wasn't much I could do with it. The ground itself opened up beneath my feet and I was back in that hole again. This time, it felt deeper. I tried climbing out of it myself, but just couldn't do it. My support team was up there, cheering me on. But there were people that unintentionally undermined my efforts to climb out of this hole. They would tell me things like "The hole doesn't exist. It's all in your mind. Stay positive and stop being so lazy." More than anything, that made me mad. I wanted to get out and shove these idiots into the hole to show them it was real and not so easy to get out of as they thought. There was another group. Every time something a rope would come down, they would come along and cut it, telling me "You have to get out of this alone. Needing help is for the weak, and the weak don't belong in the world."
Anger and disappointment began swelling up in me. Sure, these people wanted to help, in their own bizarre and ineffective way, but they didn't know they were causing more harm than good. Soon, I started blocking out anyone who came by my hole. I just couldn't take it anymore. I'd plug my ears or shout profanities at them. Why they couldn't just leave me in my damn hole was beyond me. The hole had become my home. The rest of the world was beyond me and I was perfectly okay with that. I started to blame a few people for my current predicament, even though I knew that it wasn't their fault.
Over time, I began to look deeper into the hole and made an interesting discovery. Buried in it were dreams, dreams that were either dead or dying. Not just any dreams though, they were mine. A great yearning for the better days washed over me and I lay in that pool of a dead future. There was no guarantee that things would ever be that good again. At least I had my memories of those halcyon days to keep me company.
After a time, the hole began to feel too small to accommodate me anymore. The walls were steep and high and offered no good footholds for climbing. I tried to anyway. Many times I tried, and many times I would end up on my ass with bloody hands and feet. As it turns out, I'm still here, at the bottom of my hole, and I'm still trying to climb my way out of it. Each day brings me a little closer to the top and a little closer to a new future. But I'm only human. Discouragement and past failures are tough demons to exorcise. They like to taunt and pick at me when I make my climb. Some times, I listen. Most of the time, I can tune them out. In the overall scheme of things, they aren't important and despite their efforts, I will make it out. I will make it out, and I will create a new future for myself. There might be more holes down the line, but I've already made it out of one and I'm making progress on the second one, so it doesn't really matter.
Ultimately, the point of this story is to remind you, the reader, that there are many people out there struggling in their own holes. You want to help and that is great. But you can only help those who want the help. Not everyone is at a point in their relationship with their hole that they want out yet. All you can do topside is to wait it out. Trying to help at the wrong time can cause more hurt than it does healing. Lastly, be careful how you word things. A comment made with the best of intentions has often had the opposite of its intended effect.
